Social Media Envy




As people and mainly young women on the internet I think it’s safe to say we all suffer from a bit of social media jealously/envy/anxiety whatever you want to call it. I personally do think envy is a natural an healthy trait to have as long as it doesn’t destroy or consume you. Admittedly I barely go a day without using at least one social media network. Social media has become such a big part of out lives, the way we share details about ourselves and in turn the way we view the people around us.

It’s highly unlikely that someone is going to share their electric bill on instagram or vlog themselves having argument with their partner. I estimate about 100% of people purely use social media to share the best parts of their life. I know I do. And I think that’s okay. Just remember that 80% of my time I stay in my house, sitting at my laptop in bed, working in my pj's. The other 20% is fabulous and glam and full of lovely dinners, sweet outfits and doing cool things. Bottom line, Social media is edited and what you might be seeing isn’t the whole truth. 

I know friends, family and even bloggers and vloggers who in fact who are able to make the smallest of things into social media spin. We all have those friends who post the most outlandish, bragging posts and status updates. You know, there are just times when you have to roll your eyes at their claims and you know that it’s not the full story. Personally - I don’t take it all too seriously, laugh at the audacity and ridiculousness of it all and just let them get on with it. The bottom line is you cannot let people moderated and filtered lives get to you. The only person they are fooling is themselves.

Sometimes on social media it seems everything is going right for others and wrong for you. The most helpful thing I’ve learnt in time is to be mindful and try and be genuinely happy for other peoples success and happiness. Reaching a sort of holistic place where you excited for others is a good way to actually make you feel better. Using that envy positively to motivate you to try something new, put yourself out there and share.

Shift your focus and count your own blessing. Focus less on what others have, focus on what you, yourself and most importantly your life. 

Social media jealousy is something everyone feels a bit of every now and then. It’s really natural effect of being part of a world that’s so filtered and polished.

Have you ever felt this way? How do you deal? Lets talk about this in comments.

56 comments

  1. Too true! Social media is everybody's photograph face. It's the stuff you'd only share with somebody you want to impress. I have suffered with this, especially when I started blogging. I made myself lighten up and remember that in 20 years time I'm going to look back at my Instagram to remember stuff beyond what I wore, and a social media persona!

    It worked. I rarely feel envious now!
    average adventures

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  2. I totally agree with you Lily! Social media is just smoke and mirrors.

    xx Mira

    www.glamdevils.com

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  3. Completely agree. But I feel that many people get too much validation from bragging (or worse, humble bragging online). I think it's starting to feel pretty desperate and it's actually caused me to spend a lot less time on social media.

    I'm actually surprised more people haven't left social media. But maybe I'm just an Old, so what do I know?

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  4. this is so true! Social media is everybody's photograph face.

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  5. I sometimes see people appreciating or bugging up my friends who are bloggers more, and whilst they 100% deserve it I can't help but feel sad. I feel like no one takes the time to say 'we love your blog etc' but I guess unless you have a larger following, you won't see it on a regular basis will you?

    I do wish my life was more interesting, but maybe, hopefully, what I share is enough to show who I am!

    Lauren x
    Britton Loves | Lifestyle Food Beauty

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  6. so damn true..
    http://exitwonds.blogspot.com/

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  7. Social media only ever shows the good in people's lives so it's hard to not feel jealous when everyone looks like their life is perfect and happy, and it's even more heightened when you're having a bad day! I think it's best to remember only the good is seen!
    Jodie xo // Jodie Loue

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  8. Such a honest post and soo damn true! It's not all what it's cracked up to be.

    Anne x

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  9. You took the words out of my mouth! I'm glad you shared this because it's really not talked about. But like you said, at the end of the day you just gotta be happy for people.

    Habba x
    www.heimisdottir.co.uk

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  10. such a great post Lily. it's refreshing to sometimes take a step back and look at the things for a universal perspective, no one's life is as perfect as their social media accounts make it out to be. x

    CLUB AVENUE / http://club-avenue.blogspot.com / instagram

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  11. Of course I only post the best things from my life on social media and of course I get envious of others, but it's most certainly not unhealthy. If anything, it motivates me to work harder so I can create the happiest life for myself full of amazing experiences that I can hopefully use to inspire others to do the same.

    Another wonderful post Lily! You're just so real girl.

    PS. If I post my mortgages repayments and bills, will somebody pay them for me? HAHAHA! :P

    www.lioninthewild.com

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  12. Safe to say I've fallen victim to social media jealousy more than a few times! With an era of buying followers and likes etc it's all got a bit out of hand for sure! X

    Workout Wear over at-
    hailandharmony.blogspot.ie
    // BLOGLOVIN

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  13. Comparison is such a killer. I have many times fallen victim to social media envy and no good ever comes of it.

    Rachel | www.currentlyrachel.com

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  14. So much truth in this post, but I also have now learned to appreciate that my experiences (good and bad) are what make me who I am. So I try to be happy for everyone that they're all getting to do heaps of cool stuff and have nice things; while being glad that I get to do all the stuff I do like see beautiful sunsets and cuddle puppies.

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  15. Really great post. Gives you something to think about!

    http://industrialbarbie.blogspot.com/

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  16. This post is so true! I find it happens most happens most on Instagram when you can scroll through everyone's amazing pictures x

    Ellé | www.ellesimpson.co.uk

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  17. I feel like everyone should read this post, because it's so important to learn this. It's so easy to scroll through someone's instagram and get wrapped up in how they portray their life, until you are obsessed with it, but when you take a step back, you realise these are just snapshots of someone's life, only showing what they want you to see.

    http://ashcam22.blogspot.co.uk/

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  18. Social media envy is all too real - it's something I have a love/hate relationship with. Of course no one's life is perfect but when you're having a bad day and your Instagram is clogged with hot dog legs and exotic holidays, it can be hard not to let it get to you! I love your conclusion and learning to focus on ourselves, being part of the social media generation can be exhausting at times xx

    www.lydialulu.com

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  19. Oh gosh I often feel it! But I think exactly the way you do. It's all basically a front we put on of sorts. I don't have any grand 'plan' or anything. I just post whatever I feel like posting really!

    A Little Twist Of…

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  20. Totes agree with you here girl - everything is made to look so much more glamorous on social media, I'm definitely guilty!

    Josie XOXO
    Fashion Mumblr

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  21. Totally agree with you - I'm definitely one that suffers with social media envy. I think it's definitely good to realise that people only share the glamorous stuff in their life. This will lead to self acceptance!

    www.gemmacarey.com

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  22. This is perfect! It's too easy to get jealous when people filter their lives and show only the good bits, now I try and focus on the good in my life and what I achieved on my own

    www.mermaidsandmilkshake.blogspot.com

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  23. Great Post! I am currently taking a social media break for reasons listed in this post, as well as, these comments. I experienced some social media envy and decided I needed a time out because I live a good life and I can't let social media twist my thoughts into believing anything less. Thanks for this post.

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  24. Agreeed! It's always easy to get carried away with social media...

    www.angerawrs.co.uk

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  25. Sometimes if I haven't posted on my Instagram for a while I find myself looking for something interesting to photograph; going out of my way to find it. So yes, I totally agree, if I do it, surely everyone else's seeming perfectly filtered lives aren't as true as they seem on my Instagram feed! We need reminding sometimes!
    Alice xxx
    www.Casetti.co.uk

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  26. I absolutely love this blogpost of yours!
    I definitely have social media envy, makes me feel really small inside but also it makes me want to surpass those who do so well! In a way it motivates me but yes, I agree that we all have to focus less on others- but more on ourselves!

    I LOVE this post. AMEN SISTA!

    Lauren xx | laurlauu . beauty . fashion . life . blog

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  27. This has been my mantra for a while now - I used to have social media envy then I asked myself why? It's only a fraction of their lives and they've earned it just as I have earned mine. And who knows, someone could be envious of the fraction of your life that you show x

    http://increddyble.blogspot.com

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  28. I do feel really engrossed with social media and often sit at home scrolling through my feeds asking myself, why as a 19 year am I not out doing X, Y & Z? It's often left me with a negative impact but like you said, people only share what they want people to see x

    Hannah x hannatalks

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  29. absolutely love this post Lily. social media jealousy/envy is indeed very common in this social media centered period but I love how you take it positively and spin it around for a more optimistic outcome for yourself..
    I definitely need to take a page out of this and apply it to myselff :) <3

    http://amelodyofdiaries.blogspot.co.uk/

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  30. I totally feel this way, and so often. Because the thing is, I spread photos that I took on a one day sunny stroll throughout the whole week. You don't see me with crusty mashed potato on my chin, or me sitting there in my old tshirts and underwear binge watching for hours. These things can be so deceiving, and I think that we always need to remind ourselves that everything is quite simply not what it seems.

    Julia

    ExploresMore.com

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  31. I completely agree! People only share what they want you to see and the positive parts of their lives! Its easy to forget everyone else goes through struggles too.

    www.ajourneywithjo.com

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  32. Such a good point. I completely agree!
    www.MarinaSays.com

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  33. I definitely think it's natural and isn't something you can banish completely, so long as it doesn't take over. x

    nueyork.blogspot.com

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  34. I always think that social media (mainly Instagram) is about showing the life you want 100% of the time, the aspiration as it were, however that doesn't stop me getting that FOMO and envy of what other people post...even as someone a little older! I think it's because I feel I have less of the good stuff to post, so that's probably my issue xx

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  35. I'm definitely conscious that everything I see is carefully selected and heavily edited, but I still suffer from envy. And I perpetuate this by editing my social accounts to reflect how I want to be seen by others. It's important to acknowledge this, but I agree - it motivates me to live a better, more exciting life and dare to do things I wouldn't do otherwise!

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  36. Social media is indeed just a presentation of a small part of one's life so we really should not let envy dictates our lives in an unhealthy way! Personally, I do not spend too much time on social media as it just seems quite superficial sometimes but I have to admit that it does propel me to dream more about a better future! Thanks for sharing this post!

    Prudence
    www.prudencepetitestyle.com

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  37. Loved this Lily! I think it's super important to remember than Instagram and all the rest of it is a souped-up highlights reel of our individual lives. I often worry that I'm becoming a humble brag but honestly HK is too pretty not to share. It's definitely important to curb envy and channel it into something positive (: hope you're having an amazing holiday with the fam! x

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  38. This post is lovely. It's so true that you have to remember that you never see the real behind-the-scenes action on social media. People are only going to share their highlights with you, so don't ever compare your own life to it. By all means, I use it to motivate me, or push me to work harder but I also remember that they're human too! We all have things that we don't share on social media. It's a sugar-coated version of someones life but so addictive too!
    Tasmin | Grandiose Days

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  39. I have been thinking about this so much this week. Especially as summer arrives it is so easy to compare your summer plans with other peoples! Well said though, we need to focus on ourselves and appreciate that no one ever shares the bad things.

    Alice x

    alicepalace

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  40. I definitely agree and this happens in all aspects of life, not just social media! I always try to remember that everyone has their own struggles. Big or small, they all count and no one wants to air their dirty laundry. I try to feel positive and happy for my friends, because jealousy doesn't get me anywhere.

    Abi x

    lifewithbicks

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  41. We should stop worrying about what others are doing & enjoy what we are experiencing. Don't let the idea of the "nice life" consume your thoughts of your awesome life. Lovely post!

    Mafer, Concientizando x

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  42. Great post. I don't bother with social media much these days. I post what I like, when I like and ignore the rest.

    http://fashionandstylepolice.com

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  43. I totally agree - it's so easy to get sucked into believing that their life is so glam!

    Emma at www.collagemepretty.blogspot.co.uk

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  44. I totally agree with every thing you say. we should all turn this social media world into a happier place by being happy for others, allow others to motivate us to be true to ourselves all the more, and make the best of whats in front of us!!

    Rachel x
    thehappybits.blogspot.com

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  45. Absolutely love this! Although I try to be as positive as possible, have a relationship, lots of great friends, a pretty good life, I get down, stressed and sometimes don't have enough money to do all the things I'd like too. I work a lot and hard to pay for going out and travelling and because I only post those things people may think I'm more spoilt or richer than what's actually the truth! Just discovered your blog and I love it!!

    www.thesweetsevenfive.blogspot.co.uk xxx

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  46. Good post! I'm always reminding my boyfriend of exactly what you've said: it's so easy to fall for the idea that some people's life's are that perfect and worry free and beautiful all the time!

    I love how honest you are about working from home in your PJs - I'm doing that today too, with humongus 'I let my hair dry naturally' hair and fluffy socks on. No way is instagram seeing this!

    But, this post serves as a really good reminder, and to balance the whole inspiration & aspiration vs realism. Pinterest is the worst social network for it, in my opinion...what starts as inspiration turns up into jealousy, low self-esteem or frustration about my cash flow! What really counts is the blessings I count in my own life :) Thank you for the reminder!

    Flora
    www.hardyandhay.com

    ReplyDelete

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