Thursday, August 19, 2010


reflection



I wasnt going to update today but something has been really bugging me over the last two days. As alot of you know I live a pretty hectic life, I do far too much and spend most of my day doing something or other. In my old routine I was able to spend a hour fitting in my blogtime, But since starting my new job my whole routines been thrown out the window! Today I got up at 7 am, left my house at 9am and didn't get home from work till 7pm. I get home and have a good 50 proper emails to read and go through (ie. the ones that I need to respond to, no spam/alerts because with those I get well over 300 emails), another 40-50 Formspring questions to contemplate and then going on to read everyone elses new blogs. I'm not calling out the person who seems to everyday ask me if I'm going to post a blog. But its really bugging me! Yes, Normally I do post everyday if but at the moment I'm having trouble with Ivor and I'm getting home too late from work to do it. Especially outfit posts seeing as the light on my side of the house is rubbish by the time I get home!

Someone also said to me on Formspring that I clearly love the attention I get from this blog and I don't really. In reality I'm reserved and not particularly a people person! Don't get me wrong, I love the blog and I love talking to people, But my blog has grown above my wildest expectations and although I adore doing it but sometimes I feel like people expect so much out of me. When in reality I dont have the time to respond to everything I get asked or emailed about. It may take me a few days to reply to a email but I will do it in the end. I don't know how to style specific items, I'm not a fashion "guru" I don't give fashion advice, All I know about clothes is what I wear and thats it! As for my weightloss, I don't mind answering questions on this, but when I get "questions" telling me that I shouldn't be bragging about it or encouraging others to loose weight it can really ruin the whole Q+A's! Another thing is I don't know the answer to every single thing I'm asked on Formspring and when your asked the same question at least 3-4 time a day its frustrating and I'm not going to lie I get so pissed off I feel like just typing GOOGLE IT! I try and help as much as I can but like I said, Google would be much quicker!

I'm pretty emotional right now as I'm sick of feeling like people want so much from me. I'm a human being and I have feelings and emotions, Sometimes I cant be bothered and sometimes I'm rude, brash and abrupt, But I do try my hardest to blog as much as I can and keep you all in the loop. In all honesty I blog alot more than some other bloggers and interact as much as I can with my followers, as I don't want to be some "famous" blogger who doesn't talk to anyone! Big love to the ones who aren't like this and the ones who ask genuine questions on Formspring, I just had to get this off my chest . I'm sure someone will take this the wrong way and send me some more hate on Formspring to bring me down but whatever.

In other GOOD news, The lovely Gem won the ASOS Blogger competition! Jen did a lovely outfit inspired by me! I've already planned a post with a take on her style! Also Christina did a post on the sunglasses she won in my Paola Loves To Shop Giveaway! (whos new hair looks fab btw!)

Anyway, Tomorrow I have a day off tomorrow, but I've got loads to do, Including packing loads of ebay stuff for my Mum, having a light workout session, going to the chiropractor for my clicky hip and I'm going out with my friends in the evening. So if I do find time tomorrow I will post something!

47 comments:

  1. Perhaps you should delete your Formspring? People wanting to ask you genuine questions would still be able to contact you via email or blog comments and you wouldn't get any more nasty anonymous remarks. I've been thinking a lot recently about how much time I spend on the internet, was thinking of deleting some stuff so I can concentrate just on my blog and Twitter. It IS hard to keep up to something like this with a job and other commitments, make sure you put yourself first and ignore the haters! xx

    ReplyDelete
  2. Aww, hun don't let it all stress you out. You can blog whenever you want, don't let people put pressure on you.

    And remember that loads of people like me do love reading you thoughts. You may not be a 'guru' but you do have great style and a lovely, chatty way with words.

    Oh, and thanks for the mention :)

    Lots of love Christina x

    ReplyDelete
  3. At the end of the day, only do things if make you happy. If it's getting you down blogging etc then you should take a break, your happiness is more important.
    But take it as a compliment, people are obviously interested in you.
    I hope things get better for you soon xxx

    ReplyDelete
  4. It's so sad how people take time to go onto your FS and leave abuse, they clearly have nothing better to do! I know firsthand how hard it is to read negative comments day in day out, perhaps you should disable your account for a week or so to clear you head? Hope things get better, especially with the boy ): xxx

    ReplyDelete
  5. You are the most wonderful girl ever. You are completely right, that other bloggers don't post half as much as you do, and as for interaction with followers, well you can forget it! You are the only blogger here I have found who is original, beautiful and unique, yet so down to earth! You really put so much effort into creating interesting posts, and writing different things. Honestly compared to a LOT of stuff out there, you have got it spot on. It's kind of sad that you need to "apologise" to people, or explain yourself, as those who love you for who you are (and there's a lot, I can tell you) already know and understand. People that are half as busy as you wouldn't even update, and answer all questions so please do not worry. Everyone gets haters, and the higher you go and the more successful you become, the more you'll get. The last thing you should do, is acknowledge them. You are a star in your own right, and you should be also enjoying YOUR life as well as keeping your blog so don't worry too much about updating all the time etc.
    This wasn't meant to be such a long comment but I just wanted to let you know how truly great and inspirational you are :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Do what's best for you! Don't overwork yourself, don't feel like you have to "answer" to ANYBODY. I think it's ridiculous that people are using your formspring to ask "Will you post today?" Post at your leisure, blogging should be fun and NOT feel like an obligation. Hang in there, sounds like you're going through a rough patch. Everything will lighten up though =)

    ReplyDelete
  7. So glad you posted this. Like I just said on Twitter, I was reading through your Formspring and was shocked at the amount of questions you get, many asking things that can be easily found via Google and even more asking things that are just plain odd!

    I think you do a great job with your blog. I know just how hard it is to maintain regular posting when you're working long hours... I got to a stage a few months ago where the pressure to keep it up was making me ill! So I took a step back. Ultimately it has affected the growth of my blog - I don't post on sites like LookBook or Chictopia because I know doing this on top of everything else I already do would be too much for me. I know this is the reason my followers and stats grow steadily, rather than shoot up, but that's how I fit my blog into my life. For me, my life comes first.

    Don't ever feel like you can't just take a day off, ignore your emails and comments and questions and do something else instead. Don't let your blog control you!

    Thanks for the link. Can't WAIT to see how you take on my style! :) xx

    ReplyDelete
  8. i agree with blair. delete your formspring - if people really need to know something, they can ask you via email/twitter/or leave a comment on your blog! i don't GET why people would ask you everyday "are you updating".. why even bother!? ignore the haters the only reason i don't have a fs is because i know i'd get ALOT of anonymous nasty comments.. i'm too scared to set one up!

    adele
    http://www.thomassenland.com
    http://www.twitter.com/thomassenland

    ReplyDelete
  9. i know, i am glad that you still interact with followers, even though your blog is really popular, what do you think you need to have a successful blog, like yourself (you dont have to answer, btw, i'd understand, tbh) :)

    dothingsbackwards.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  10. I love your blog, your outfits and I especially love this post.
    It seriously annoys me when (whosever blog, or video I'm on/watching) and some dick asks a question they've blatently answered.
    I'm glad you've actually said it pisses you off because I'm sure other just put up with the irritation when there's no need.
    You don't have to blog everyday, you have a life too and people should appreciate that as much as the people obvs love your blog whether you post everyday or not :)

    Good on you for not putting up with it!

    x

    ReplyDelete
  11. Awww! I think you should just delete your formspring! People can ask you questions via another method if they really wanted to instead of anonymously asking on your FS.

    I hope everything turns out well! & don't feel like you have to blog everyday, that's silly. Just do whatever YOU want, it's YOUR blog.

    xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  12. I agree with a lot of people that you seem to get asked a lot of silly obvious questions on Formspring (and actually on your youtube videos too) which if people really, really wanted to know the answer to, could google, or actually go to the trouble of emailing you about. I think your blog has got to the point where it's so popular that things like Formspring are more trouble than they are worth, I'm really impressed that you reply to most questions though, and so honestly and openly.

    When you posted your youtube videos it was weird because you could tell you are quite reserved in real life, which is totally normal, but I guess when you read fashion blogs you expect people with bold style to be loud etc. I kind of thought you would be, which isn't a bad thing at all. It just shows that everyone judges other bloggers and they can't really help it unless they meet them in real life.

    Congrats on how well your blog is doing, and enjoy it, if that means you don't have time for formspring or blogging every day that isn't a failure on your part, you have a life outside of blogging and I wish you all the best x x x

    ReplyDelete
  13. I love your blog and I do look forward to you updating, but at the end of the day you're only human!

    I've only visited your formspring & if I have a question the answer is usually there already! People need to learn to search through the backlogs of questions before asking one you've probably answered time and time again!

    At the end of the day it's YOUR blog and in my opinion with the quality of your posts people should be satisfied with you posting whenever YOU want to.
    Kyrie x

    ReplyDelete
  14. I love you and your blog so much. I don't actually know any other dedicated blogger other than you. You at least deserve some time off every now and again. I think it's because people just expect you to blog something everyday and when you don't it comes as a shock. You could make scheduled posts if you like, obviously not outfit posts. Unless you do inspired by looks, hauls or whatever.
    You could also change your formspring settings to not allow any anonymous comments, although that may be who you get the most comments from. I'm not really sure. Just forget all the negative comments. Don't let anyone get to you, there is so many people that really like you and those who don't just aren't worth it. Xx

    ReplyDelete
  15. Delete the formspring.
    I agree with everything you said and I think you should do what makes you happy and suits you, so by deleting the formspring and doing a little less I think you will be better off than getting frustrated and ranting on your blog. Remember that (and this goes for all blogs) you mood shows through your writing, which is why yours is so popular because you are usually very cheerful and its evident you are a happy person! Posting everyday but being frustrated about it may affect your writing.
    Remember quality not quantity!

    ReplyDelete
  16. You're pretty dedicated and I like that you interact with people as opposed to some of the more famous ones (I won't name any names). I concur with the majority in stating that maybe you should delete your formspring. If it is really important, a concise email should suffice. It will be one less thing to wade through and honestly, it's a venue for people to do annoying or negative things anonymously. Also, a lot of people who are asking you to update might be the type who have nothing else to do during the day. There are a plenty of people who have yet to reach the age where they are filled to the brim with things to do daily. Hang in there. The majority of us acknowledge that you're a busy human being with feelings!

    ReplyDelete
  17. It sounds like blogging is starting to become stressful, rather than something enjoyable, which is why you started a blog in the first place I expect. Its a real shame that this has happened, I understand that you feel pressured to post and reply to everyone. maybe you need to take a step back and think, i did this because its something i love doing, and now its becoming difficult. Maybe delete your formspring? I get that you want to keep in touch with you bloggers, of course u do! but if people are beginning to ask things repeatedly, then its just becoming a bad thing to have. I love your blog, I really hope things settle down soon once you get your routine back. Chin up Lily! :) x

    ReplyDelete
  18. Love this blog Lily and I really don't think you should have to apologise for anything. This blog belongs to you therefore you can do whatever you want, whether it be nothing blogging every single day or never take full body shots (those big are idiot who complain about that)! Besides, people who post every single day start to run out of chat and their content gets samey and boring. I love how you always have something different to say every time you post and really put thought into your pictures! I agree with everyone who is saying delete FS, seriously it would cause you a lot less hassle and as others said if someone really wanted to ask you something of importance they can email you. I have a tiny blog and sometimes find it hard to keep up reading everyone (I always) try esp when work is busy (I'm doing my masters dissertation at the moment) as Jen said, some of the questions you get asked on FS are crazy and often very repepitive, goggle people... hello!! Anyway, you gotta do whatever makes you happy and don't let yourself get run down or stressed by it all, blogging is meant to be fun, not a pain in the arse xx

    ReplyDelete
  19. Aww Lily :( Try not to let it all get on top of you. I know exactly how you feel. Well that's a lie. I feel the pressure and yet I do practically nothing all day, so I actually can't imagine how you must feel. But I have had nights where I can't sleep because I'm panicking because I haven't posted blah blah or replied to emails... It's just a bit ridiculous. You're in control here. Your blog is just a hobby, so just take it down a notch and work out the best way to fit it into your new schedule.
    We all love you and if you can only post a few times a week, that's fine! It's what most bloggers do! I know I do! We'll all be here waiting for you :)
    And as for Formspring, it's GOT to go! That is such an unnecessary stress. And is such an easy way for people to bring you down.
    MAJOR love for you, Lilz! Hope you feel better soon, honeybee!
    Thanks for the mention, too! ♥

    ReplyDelete
  20. Hi! I'm a new reader/follower and I really love your blog, you seem like such a sweet person and it's such a shame that other people are getting you down! I don't really know what to say other than I wish people would just learn to be nice. Also I love the fact that, despite the fact that you have loads of followers, you still try to respond to everything and chat with everyone - there are so few 'famous' bloggers (and even non-famous ones!) that make the effort to do so. Keep your chin up, and remember that there are loads of people wishing you well and just a few nasties... I hope that helps! :)

    Leia

    ReplyDelete
  21. Formspring is just a waste of anyones life - if anyone genuinely wants a proper answer from you they will email you, it only takes five minutes - I used to do youtube videos and I totally get what you mean about all the annoying stupid questions like 'I'm pale how can I do my makeup' ... How do i know? I would say buggar formspring just answer email q's that way you have a little less hate and a little more time for blogging.

    Also dont forget to have some 'you' time, dont pretty stupid but maybe take a couple of days of blogging and be lazy...sleep... spend time with anyone in your life. Might make the feel a little less stressed xx

    ReplyDelete
  22. Argh! I hate little shitty fights with boyfriends! I hope you two work it out and you're happy!

    I love learning that you've done a new post, but I can't believe people ask "are you going to post today?" WTF?! Do these people not have a life?

    Maybe you should delete your formspring? It kind of seems like the "easy way" for people to ask questions. If they have to go to the trouble of sending you an email then it would cut out half the lamo questions or people trying to annoy you/bring you down.

    x

    ReplyDelete
  23. you go girl! I read what some people say to you on your formspring and its ridiculous I can only imagine what the ones you dont answer say. I appreciate the time and effort you put into your blog considering some only post 2-3 times a wk. People expect too much and need to get a life other than sitting around creeping your blog and formspring and leaving hateful comments
    CHIN UP !

    ReplyDelete
  24. Good on you - im so glad that you wrote this becuse people need to hear it whether they want to or not. People need to cut you a break! Blogging is for fun, and when it turns into something other than that and leading you to frustration, its just stupid. Your blog is amazing, but people need to understand that you're busy and a real person with a real life and this isnt your 24/7 world. Good luck with everything on formspring....half of the time I dont even have patience to answer some of peoples silly questions! Hope everything calms down for you girl and you can get some rest. x

    ReplyDelete
  25. Calm down! :P dont worry! i dont know if you are going to read this, but i see the same stuff and reactions on youtube famous beauty gurus. I dont understand it, all of we get so serius about a thing that is only a hobby and not a job or responsability. Look, if someone send you a message telling you stuff like you dont answer me, laught at him, dont get anoyed, you dont have a responsability with anyone of us! Girl dont get stress, answer only what you can and post when you can, is simply, this is only a hobby!

    XoXo!

    ReplyDelete
  26. aww take a deep fancy breath doll
    1. Love the new look
    2. Kudos for ever having the time and energy to keep the blog alive because when I started working I couldn't even be bothered to turn on my laptop lol
    3. With the Mr. things usually work themselves out once both people take a step back and evaluate the situation from a fresh perspective.

    So breathe easy and if people can't wait for you to post they should go out and check out the fresh air and sunshine while they wait lol

    xo

    ReplyDelete
  27. Seriously do not feel pressured by anyone else. You are doing everyone a favor by your blog and you don't owe it to anyone! If you can't blog some days don't feel pressured some people have to realize the world doesn't revolve around them and you have a life of your own to deal with as well.

    ReplyDelete
  28. nooooo! i felt so sorry for you reading this lily! boy troubles mixed with random ppl on the internet being mean to you- it doesn't sound fun :/
    i just wanted to say i love your blog! i love that your from the uk, and i love the clothes you wear. i found your blog about 3 months ago and you've completely inspired me ever since.
    i really think you should post when you want to and when you can, don't feel pressure because all the people that love you and your posts will happily wait; only meanies will be nasty about it! (they must just be soooo addicted to your style!!hehe)

    anyway i hope all these lovely comments help you feel better and i hope things with ivor sort out soon

    love rachel

    ReplyDelete
  29. As everyone has said, it's your blog and you can do what you like, I love reading it and I think you need to enjoy it or there is no point doing it! Take a while to get used to your new routine and see how it goes! Hope you feel better soon :)

    Love Maria xxxx

    ReplyDelete
  30. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  31. I found your blog a couple of days ago and I think it's so inspiring & just wonderful! As you can see from all these lovely comments there is a lot of love for LLYMLRS!
    So I hope these make you feel better, ignore those horrible negative types! They just like to make people feel as crappy as they do! And I hope things get better for you with your boyf & work-life always works itself out.
    xx

    ReplyDelete
  32. So... when are you going to post next?

    ReplyDelete
  33. Oh god, 'Anonymous' thinks they're SO funny.

    Anyway, listen. I've only been reading your blog for a few weeks now but I really enjoy it, and I never think 'god, when is xyz going to post next'. Do you know why? Because I'm exactly like you; I do about a zillion things and so I don't really care if my favourite blogger hasnt posted in a while too - they prob have a life like me. I'm a full time graphic designer, a freelance illustrator, freelance blogger, I also write my own blog, and am currently in the process of setting up a pop-up shop. Aside from all that, I travel 4 hours a day on a train and also, you know, like to have a social life! My advice is this: Only do it if you want to. You have to be so selfish with your time otherwise people will just take it from you. I post about 3 times a week; I'd love to do it more but honestly, it's physically impossible. And there's more to life than blogging! If people have the audacity to ask you when you'll post next, they clearly have no life and need to realise that you do!

    It sounds to me that Formspring is more hassle than its worth. If you give people 10 avenues to contact you through, they will. Get rid of it. Like someone (cant remember who) up there said, if they REALLY want to ask you something, then they will. There's plenty of avenues.

    Other thing is just try to use your time wisely; do you have email on your phone? Get it. If you have 50 emails a day, spend time on the bus/lunch break/wherever replying to a few, so you dont have so many at the end of the day. You'll turn into one of those crackberry women but who cares. We all secretly want to be them anyway :P

    In conclusion to this ridiculous essay-type post: If blogging/internets is making you unhappy. Dont do it. Funnily enough, the people who care most about you and your blog, won't care if you don't update for a week. Tis true.

    Chin up xxxx

    ReplyDelete
  34. lily, you're amazing :) I love your blog, but it's YOUR blog and you should be able to post whenever you feel like it. everyone should understand that blogging isn't the number one priority in your life. and yep, like many people have said before: delete your formspring, at least for a while. people ask such rubbish things in there :)

    ReplyDelete
  35. Hey. I think people who visit blogs have become so needy, I don't understand. You do have a life besides the blog, it's understable if you don't post something every single day. Some girls do, but I don't think I could put so much time into a blog every single day. And I certainly understand if you're tired after work. I too work in retail, start work a 9:30 and finish everyday at 7:15 and 8:30 on fridays. Anyway, lots of luck and don't let people get you down. Oh and as this is my first comment on your blog, I'd like to add that I love your hair. Plus I like your style!

    ReplyDelete
  36. Gosh, these people need to understand that you have a LIFE! Try not to feel that you have to do a post every day - besides, like you said, you post a lot more than most - definitely more than me! Haha :) Seems like people are expecting far too much from you, and I don't get how people can say you clearly like the attention when they only know you from the blogging/online World?! How silly! I think you're doing great! Don't put pressure on yourself as your life's busy enough as it is.
    xx
    PS. Oh, I feel bad for saying this 'cause I don't want to hassle you, but my sunglasses from the giveaway haven't turned up yet? I only say because I see that Gem's have - I understand they'll take a while, but this has got me a little worried!

    ReplyDelete
  37. I agree with everyone else - you should do what's best for you and not worry about keeping everyone else happy (because that's never possible!). Keep blogging because you love it and because it adds to your life, don't let it become a chore and don't let other people spoil your enjoyment of it. x

    ReplyDelete
  38. These sad people must have a lot of time on their hands. You do a great job and you owe no-one anything.
    You have a life so of course you can't spend hours replying to everyone, it's unfair of people to hassle you.
    I hope you sort things out with your boyfriend xx.

    ReplyDelete
  39. I just wanted to say, I am always soooo impressed with the frequency and quality of your posts and the fact you're still keeping up with it while you're so busy with other things just shows how good a blogger you are, and how all those people who make comments are totally unjustifiable.

    Like everyone else has said blogging should definitely be something that you choose to do, you don't owe anyone anything and you shouldn't feel bad for the fact that you can't update every five minutes!

    And I agree with what everyone else has said about getting rid of formspring as well, it seems like sites like that just breed nastyness! I know I could never bring myself to use it as I can't imagine the sort of things people would say to me!

    xxx
    P.S. Also just wanted to say thank you for linking me on your formspring :)

    ReplyDelete
  40. Wow. Just read your formspring and can't believe how many random and weird questions there are on there! I would just delete it, as soon as I started getting abuse I did because I just didn't want to deal with it. Btw which mascara do you use? ;) jokes.
    I think its really sad though that people actually complain that you don't blog everyday. I mean, the people reading obviously need to get out a bit more but its really hard to think of something different to write about each day!! Let alone find time to take photos etc. Its not like you're being paid to do this, its a hobby and you do it for fun so as soon as it stops being fun take a break - thats what I'm doing as I've got no 'me' time anymore! xxx

    ReplyDelete
  41. i am speaking on behalf of all your readers: we only want you to be happy! So, if you are busy and would rather do other things then post when you get home late, that is okay! Your life always comes before your blog!

    ReplyDelete
  42. Hey there, don't listen to the haters. I randomly stumbled upon your blog and am glad i did! i love your style and we actually have a lot of the same clothes haha.
    i love the ombre effect you did to your hair but was wondering if the bleach wouldn't dry out your hair or give you split ends? it looks gorgeous anyway.

    I write a blog of my own, check it out at http://fashpackwannabe.blogspot.com

    thanks, Lucyxxx

    ReplyDelete
  43. Honestly,
    i dont understand why some people can be so demanding of you,only whining & complaining..expecting heaven & earth from bloggers...because as a reader,if i dont see any updates,ill just exit from your blog site,not spending time wondering or complaining bout the lack of updates...

    I dont have a formspring account so its too bad that i cant ask any Qs for nowm.hope u'll open it up to public again when you feel like it.so for now ill just read the Qs :)

    ReplyDelete
  44. Mate, don't worry about the stresses of it all! I know that's waaaay to easier said than done (and I'm also quite behind on your blog, just reading through about 14 posts now ha!) But seriously, if you're not enjoying blogging or feeling like it's too much, then take a break. If you're not living up to readers' expectations (and I'm thinking clearly the minority of people) then they're not readers worth having.

    jazzy ♥

    ReplyDelete
  45. You update a lot girl!
    I love your blog! I'm a huge fan..

    Byebyex

    ReplyDelete
  46. You update alot more than most people! Don't let other ruin your blogging fun :)

    ReplyDelete
  47. "Haters" isn't a word I use often nor lightly because in truth I hate the ridiculous misapplication of it but in your instance it's neccessary.

    Even if you loved the attention, why should this be such an issue to someone else? When someone isn't happy with the attention someone else is justified in receiving it's plain that they're simply jealous. It's clear you've worked hard/invested time on this blog and care about your readers and if that for you may mean getting compliments and such from readers, then who is to say you can't enjoy that feeling? It doesn't necessarily mean you're now arrogant or do this just to have your ego-stroked. It's obvious on here you don't brag about the things you have in your life and it seems to me your £££ for clothes, weight loss, followers etc all came off the back of your hard work.

    There are a certain set of people who feel so little that they must project their issues onto others and try to bring them down a notch and it's unfortunate it happens so much to youtubers, bloggers etc. But just laugh at them and keep doing your thing :)

    ReplyDelete

if you have any questions feel free to tweet me @llymlrs!

Online Users

LLYMLRS.COM

All content and images © Lily Melrose 2009-2014 unless otherwise noted.