A Little Note


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I feel weird about blogging, for some reason it doesn't feel like my place anymore since getting all cosy over on my Youtube Channel. Sort of like when you meet a new partner and you're with them for a bit and then feel a bit weird going on a night out with your mates. After being all safe and spending all your time with them but going back to your friends is all great fun but it still feeling like you saw them yesterday.

Blogging is hard, harder than it's ever been before. I think I got bored of it because it's just not my style, the in vogue thing with blogging is much more polished and perfected - but the reason I turned to blogging was to get away from all that. Not that I dont love all the awesomeness of blogging these days, its just not my style (as in personal style) and I much prefer more helpful, interesting content on different things compared to an outfit post or seven. (Who am I kidding I still want pretty much everything I see on pretty much every blogger)

Blogging is supposed to be raw, passionate and in the moment but its gone so far beyond that Im not sure it even knows what it wants to be. Youtube is going the same way but you still see those pockets of raw emotion and passion that makes you feel like you belong there. And maybe its because I achieved so much with my blog very early on in my online career I felt like I peaked and never quite achieved what I could have done if only I pushed myself harder.

Right now, I want to blog and then I dont want to blog but I've never not wanted to make Youtube videos. I said before but I still see Youtube as a challenge. It's super hard these days to get noticed, get views and we ALL feel like our channels are dying. Ask any Youtuber and they might tell you the same or sugar coat it and pretend it's all good when in reality it's not. It's a pretty dire situation for your average Youtuber these days.

The main reason I stopped blogging was because I stopped consuming blogs. And also because I REALLY REALLY loved Youtube and of course that led to me abandoning this place. I could count the times I've blogged on here on my fingers and toes this year and that makes me sad. This was my thing, this was a thing I thought I was good at and a thing I thought I could do. But I stopped making an effort the same way as you do in those relationships and took it all for granted. I fell out of love.

Falling out of love with something is sad, but it doesn't mean you dont care. My ex boyfriend recently (yes that one) reached out to me with one of the most patronising texts I've ever read before. And despite him being a shit he made me realise you can fall totally out of love with something but still care a tiny bit. And that tiny bit goes two ways, you can leave it like I'd choose with him or you can still be around... be civil and have a nice time.

And the latter is what Im going to do. Im not promising anything, Im not gonna embark on some huge effort to be a better blogger or do whatever everyone else is. I hate feeling obliged to do anything, its a weird trait but as soon  as I feel I have to do something it fills me with fear and desperation. A weird sort of anxiety that I just cant really shake off properly.

I plan to make my blog the extension of my other social media if anything which I think is probably a strange approach but I just think due to the fact that we have everything that fills the gaps in between blogging on Instagram and Twitter its made me feel like blogging could be redundant if you left it that way. Which for example I do. Blogging isnt redundant of course, its just not a huge part of my "online routine", and I need to find a way to make it.

Its impossible to be good at everything, even though I've been making a conscious effort with my Instagram and try and keep up with my channel and thats pretty time consuming.

Anyway I'm sure you've read a 10's of these posts over the past year about me wanting to do this that and the other and plotting and planning and dreaming of all these things I want to do but never quite doing them. Its pretty much the story of my life.

None the less, Hi blogging people. Thanks for reading, thanks for sticking around. I'll be coming at chu with some form of content or something something soon. Maybe.


30 comments

  1. Totally agree. The amount of times I've come to re-launch my blog, or vow to post at least once a week... and then I don't.

    I love creating content, and blogging used to be my 'happy place' online, but it isn't what it was in 2010. It isn't Barry M and Eyeko reviews and OOTD's against plain white walls. It's editorial style content - Vogue spread photos and Net-A-Porter hauls, and that's super cool but isn't that why ~old school~ bloggers started blogging in the first place? As a bit of a middle finger to Vogue? A hallelujah to the relatable girls wearing head-to-toe Primark and still looking chic?

    I think blogging has just completely grown and shifted, which is amazing, but it's sad to think we'll never get the OLD blogging back. I really want to find my happy place online again, but I don't think I fit in!

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  2. Weirdly enough I've started reading blogs more often than watching videos now. As someone in their late 20s I feel that the vast majority of YouTube is either aimed at or consumed by teens and I just don't relate. Even bloggers like you who don't aim for that demographic (or it doesn't come across like that), one look at the comment section and it puts me right off. A lot of the bloggers I originally read years ago seem to be putting their less polished selves back here which is refreshing.

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  3. I've kind of falling out of love with YouTube recently - it feels over commercialised (which ironically is why I switched over from blogs in the first place).

    Maybe we are coming back full circle and blogs are now becoming the "real" spaces that they originally were.

    <a href="http://www.bethanvincent.com”>Bethan Vincent | A York Based Businesswoman’s Blog </a>

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  4. I've read your blog for as long as I can remember and it was one of the first fashion blogs I read and got me interested in blogging! You should be proud of everything you have done and don't compare to what others are doing. I will still be reading whenever you post and I love all your style posts so would definitely be interested in more if that was something you wanted to do! You do you !!!! Xxxxxx

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  5. I feel the exact same way but with youtube. The way you feel about youtube is how I feel about blogging and the way you feel about blogging is how I feel about youtube. I even went on a hiatus from my channel...


    Marta - www.aroundcolours.blogspot.com

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  6. Love your writing style. It's interest to hear concerns people have with YouTube as I've never realised that before. I still love both!

    Anika | anikamay.co.uk

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  7. I feel the same both with my blog and YT sometimes - the other week I filmed a haul on my iPhone rather than get all pro-setup and actually felt less anxious and enjoyed the process more. I always find myself overthinking and worrying is it good/enjoyable/well presented enough, but taking it back made it so much more fun and easier on me. Just need to do what feels right!

    Lauren x
    Britton Loves | Lifestyle Beauty Wellbeing

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  8. I feel the same way and reading this blog post was such a relief. I have ALWAYS wanted to to blog and make youtube videos, but I never felt up to par with bloggers that were out there first. I've built my blog and abandoned it, built my blog and then abandoned it, and just recently picked it back up again. Whenever I write about products I either delete the post or just feel like I'm participating in this world of make believe that has become so huge--it makes me question what the point is. I'm going to try to stick to it this time, but I want my content to be raw--like you said--and about more than the beauty industry. I feel like the blogging community is something that could really help me feel stronger, if I could just get up the confidence to stick to it! I'm so grateful for this post! That someone with as much online traffic as you feels a lack of confidence in blogging makes me feel like I'm not the only one discouraged. Thank you thank you thank you!

    xoxo Samantha

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  9. I'd read your blog posts whatever they are - I love the raw, helpful posts and I think we have all somehow lost the love for something that shouldnt have ever changed. It's the pressure, pressure to be the best, have the best photography - but it was never about that in the past and I hate that its going that way.

    www.tinytwisst.com

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  10. I totally get what you mean here, but I do think there's still a place for blogging, for posts like this where you just want to write. YouTube is more about snappy content and utilising the visual side to its full potential, while I think most people are turning to Instagram for style inspiration, and Snapchat for the ins and outs of people's lives. Nowadays the few blogs I still read are ones with thoughtful, well written articles and opinion pieces; the focus is on the writing and you can't get that from other forms of social media. Just my thoughts!

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  11. I'm with you 100%. It's been a struggle to stay consistent with blogging. Love the honest words.

    xx,
    Payton / Tiny Darling

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  12. I love the way you write and your posts! xx

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  13. It seems a lot of bloggers are feeling this way at present - choosing to focus on their social media channels, like Instagram, rather than putting their main energy into their blog. I guess it's a sign of the times? xx

    Jessie | allthingsbeautiful-x

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  14. Your article very well and good, bringing inspiration to many. I hope people visit my website.
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  15. I agree with what you mean I feel like loads people do. I think that is why a lot of bloggers concentrate on instagram nowadays and their blog is like their "side thing".. you know?

    xx Lisa | http://www.lisaautumn.com

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  16. I for one think it would be pretty awesome if you returned to blogging like you did circa 2009 / 2010 <3

    charlotteharvs.co.uk 👽

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  18. I've been following your blog for years and used to check it every day for outfit inspiration. I honestly think if you included your old style daily outfits along with your current content it would feel so fresh now. Just a thought! :)

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  19. I just started my blog at wespark1@wordpress.com it has been so inspiring to read others thoughts. I just love it even though I'm just starting. I feel like YouTube would be so hard love!

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  20. This was so interesting to read. I'm so glad you've found a new passion. Falling out of love with something is okay if you've found something that's even better for you. Enjoy every second of it! xx

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  23. I've always loved your style of writing because your so honest, that's a rarity in the blogging community now a days. So I appreciate that girl!

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    Replies
    1. Hi everyone, I'm so excited.
      My ex-boyfriend is back after a breakup,I’m extremely happy that will are living together again.
      My name is Mary Wilkie from England.
      My boyfriend of a 4yr just broke up with me and am 30 weeks pregnant.I have cried my self to sleep most of the nights and don’t seem to concentrate during lectures sometimes I stay awake almost all night thinking about him and start to cry all over again.Because of this I end up not having energy for my next day’s classes ,my attendance has dropped and am always in uni and on time.Generally he is a very nice guy ,he ended it because he said we were arguing a lot and not getting along.He is right we’ve been arguing during the pregnancy a lot .After the break up I kept ringing him and telling him I will change.I am in love with this guy and he is the best guy I have ever been with.I’m still hurt and in disbelief when he said he didn’t have any romantic feelings towards me anymore that hurt me faster than a lethal syringe.He texts me now and then mainly to check up on how am doing with the pregnancy,he is supportive with it but it’s not fair on me, him texting me as I just want to grieve the pain and not have any stress due to the pregnancy.i was really upset and i needed help, so i searched for help online and I came across a website that suggested that Dr Unity can help solve marital problems, restore broken relationships and so on. So, I felt I should give him a try. I contacted him and he told me what to do and i did it then he did a spell for me. 28 hours later, my bf came to me and apologized for the wrongs he did and promise never to do it again. Ever since then, everything has returned back to normal. I and my bf are living together happily again.. All thanks to Dr Unity. If you have any problem contact Dr.Unity now and i guarantee you that he will help you.Email him at: Unityspelltemple@gmail.com ,you can also call him or add him on Whats-app: +2348071622464 ,His website: http://unityspelltemple.yolasite.com .

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