alone, together

Yesterday I made and posted a video over on my Youtube Channel talking about loneliness and general feelings of being sad. What prompted me to make it was a mixture of trying to deal with my own insecurities as well as just trying to get things out in the open. I'm not always sad or lonely, but I get these bouts of real sadness and emotional distain.

We live in this world which is hyper social but you can still feel alone. I grew up in the Myspace Generation and being in a world where having 30,000 friends was the best thing ever. Even going to adulthood I've always been online and had a support network. For as long as I can remember I personally really suffer with being lonely. Even when I was at school I occasionally felt like no one liked me, that I was the odd one out and just didn't fit. Deep down, I KNOW I'm not alone. I have some of the best friends in the world, I have you guys who support and read my blog and so many people out there who I could talk to. But for as long as I can remember I get boughs of extreme loneliness. Despite what people might think of me, I'm not overly popular "IRL". I'm shy, reserved and I do like being on my own more than socialising. Over time I realised that this was mainly because I often feel disconnected from people around me. You know, that empty feeling like your standing with a group of people but feel like you're inside some sort of bubble. I can never put my finger on why I felt like that but I did

The video explains things a little more but always remember that everyone gets lonely. It doesn't mean that there is anything wrong with you. We all have those moments where we feel like things aren't going to get any better, we aren't going to meet someone and you'll always feel like this. You won't, it'll pass. Just keep working on it. It's okay to be on your own, it's okay to feel sad sometimes. But at the end of the day you need to stay Positive and look on the bright side of life. Easier said than done I know. But these feelings are almost always temporary and you will get over it in time.

Thank you to everyone who's been so supportive of my video and my thoughts. I don't often share this side of me on the internet, because lets face it I don't think you want to see someone feeling so sad and vulnerable. Its one big problem with the internet, you see what I put out there or want you to see. Even now a day later I'm panicking every 5 seconds worrying about what people think of me. Getting things off my chest (and possibly taking some of my own advice!) has helped me so much already. It's reassuring to know so many other people feel the same as me and we aren't alone!


  1. It's a wonderful video, very brave of you. Everyone gets lonely, it's so important to remember that people close to you love you so much!

    Very honest and touching post & video :)

  2. I just quickly wanted to thank you for your kind helpful words,I often feel a bit anxious when I'm alone & this definately helped me feel as if someone else understands & that it IS normal. Thank you Lily xo
    /i'd normally link myself here but I don't think it's appropriate/ :)

  3. Thanks for sharing and being honest! It can be scary! You're a great role model.


  4. I loved this video you created! Made me realise its normal and that im not the only person who does have people around her but still feels lonely!!

    Thanks Hun! Maybe you could do some more kind of lifestyle help posts!!

    Aimee :)


  5. I loved this video xx

  6. nice video

  7. This video really inspired me. I've been feeling like this for a while. People are always doubting me and it's horrible and really makes me feel alone. Like i started my blog the other week and all i got surrounded by was "Ha. Why bother. Yours won't be good enough.."

    No positive thoughts from people whatsoever. I hope you feel better soon Lily!

    Talisa xx

  8. Amazing video!

    Emma x

  9. Aww Lily,

    It kills me to see a beautiful girl like you feeling sad. But at the same time it shows that the people who I look up to (like you) experience the negative feelings that I sometimes have to go through myself from time to time as well.

    I'd just like to give you a big hug right now!

    I'm going through similar emotions at the moment and this video made me feel a bit more positive about it all. So thanks for sharing this. I think you're an amazing person, even though I've not met you, I really hope you'll be feeling better soon.

    Take care! xx

  10. this is a wonderful video :) very inspiring :) x

  11. Well done for speaking out about this issue. Through my late teens I suffered deeply with this and it was such a taboo, everyone wants to appear perfect and people are not properly educated about this at all and I felt like I was a complete freak. When I tried to discuss it with friends/ housemates they didnt understand and it made me feel even more alone.
    Now I have thankfully met people who understand this and it happens a lot less often. As you rightly said its best to take everyday as it comes and look at the positive things in your life.
    I love that you keep talking more about your personal life on your blogs/YouTube channel. It's so nice to see that side of you. Keep it up xxx

  12. This was such an amazing video Lily! :) Thank you for being so honest, it's nice to hear that there are other people that feel lonely xxx

  13. I think I'm definitely one of those people that spends too long wallowing in negativity despite having an amazing bf and wonderful friends. Exceptionally introverted and still feeling the effects of losing my father last year just make me feel super vulnerable, I think your tips here really are what I need to remember. Thanks for your words Lily, you're wise beyond your years for sure :)

    Goodluck with ukulele!

  14. Thanks for sharing this! I never knew someone as brilliant as you would feel self concious. Your amazing lilly and I adore your strong personality! x
    (im having a give away! You can win soap and glory items and a face massager/cleanser)

  15. Really brave of you! Its nice to see such honestly. :) xxxxx

  16. This was such a great video, it made me cry. I always feel alone even when I'm out with friends. Okay not always, but I often feel left out, and like nobody likes me. I guess I have just never found a group of people I had ENOUGH in common with. I know that people do like me, but I don't feel close to them.

    It was kinda nice to know that I'm not alone with these feels.

  17. This sounds a lot like me. I'm defo going to be watching this video tonight xx

    Lucy Cole | A UK Fashion Blog

  18. Such a brave video, it was lovely to watch something very personal and definitely helped me! Thanks! xxx

  19. This has been a great post and video, it's a brave thing to post this as you're not a very "personal" blogger but sometimes I think it's good to do as their are so many people who can relate to this situation and in turn helps them and probably helps you too. I'm pretty sure everyone has a great deal of respect for you for putting yourself out there. Everyone feels lonely and isolated but it's all about trying to focus on the positives, I saw this the other day and thought it's a great way to make yourself think about the good things in your life
    :) XO

  20. Really appreciate this video, so many of us go though phases of feeling lonely. I really like the point you made about it being important to be happy with yourself and to not change to please other people.

  21. This video is really inspiring and also really helpful. There are times where I feel alone, but the fact you've put yourself out there makes me admire what you do even more. I have been reading your blog for the past couple of weeks, and have recently created my own blog. This was due to a change in attitude about things. I am a huge worrier and saying yes to doing something new something I never like doing. I hold myself back. I want to try and do things but I just get scared. I don't even know why anymore, I think it is because of a comfort thing and routine. I like to stick to what I know. However watching this video, which is I guess similar to how I am feeling has really inspired me just to try more things to I feel happier with myself. I love reading your blog, best of luck with it! Thank you x

  22. Such a good video Lily! Thanks for sharing :)

  23. You're such a sweet, kind person Lily! I definitely feel this same way sometimes, I think maybe social media actually exacerbates loneliness sometimes rather than being comforting. It's all a little strange. Thank you for making this video and sharing your thoughts! xxxx

  24. I watched this video last night when I was feeling very down as well. I can't say how inspirational I found it, and I can't thank you enough. xxx

  25. this is such an amazing video lily, i dont think you realise what an inspiration you are to so many of us... it's so difficult to stand behind a camera and say all those things and i just wanted to say thank you, for making all of us feel a little less alone everyday! :)

  26. Loved your video lily, I get the same too, Its weird and i wish i didnt but life goes on :)
    Very nice to know am not the only one!

    Pipp xx

  27. Lovely and inspiring video babes, thanks a lot for this :D Btw, you must check out my new Stella McCartney Spring 2013 runway perspex soled shoes #humblebrag, guaranteed you're be mega provoked, do tell me what you think! ;)

    xx The Provoker

  28. I think you're really brave for posting this. Im sure every single person reading can relate, if i had seen this 3 or so months ago it would have really spoken to me xx

  29. This is a really beautiful and inspiring post and I love that you were brave enough to
    share this with us. Love your blog and this post too because I can relate!

  30. Great video! One of my favourites
    .Georgina Clare.

  31. I really love that you've evolved your blog content. I've been following your blog for years, and I've always really liked it, but I love that now your focus has shifted, and I really get a sense of who you are as a person, rather than just, "I wonder if LLYMLRS posted an outfit today." I'm not usually one to comment, but I just wanted to step out of the darkness and give you some good feedback, because I really enjoy your videos and how you've expanded your blog. I think you will always be successful if you stay true to yourself. Also, this video was very thoughtful, and I enjoyed it. That's all, have a good day!!!!!

  32. Lily this is such a lovely video, I definitely know how you feel, I've changed a lot over the last year and my feelings towards relationships have done a complete u turn. This is so motivating and it's nice to hear sometimes that it's ok to feel ok, you just hav to remember that you're a pretty amazing person and you'll get everything you deserve in the end x

  33. Lovely honest video m'dear, I hope you're able to take your own advice too, sometimes it can be so easy to provide support for others but harder to remember to look after yourself. <3

  34. I think It's really brave of you to put this video out there, I think it's only natural to feel lonely sometimes and no one should judge you for that as it's something everyone goes through and I think it's so helpful for people to understand that, thankyou for making this video :)
    Rosalie x

  35. I can relate to this so much,
    I admire you a lot for putting it out there!
    We all feel it :)/

  36. Hiya! I'm sorry this is irrelevant to your post however it is in the rules of this award and I love your blog and I felt you should know that I am a regular reader. Your post is really honest and brave and I adore you for that, it is okay to be lonely as everyone agrees and your followers will always be here for you no matter how you feel. You can always share your feelings with us. Anyway... the award I have nominated you for is the Versatile Blog Award. I hope you enjoy reading my post about it here.

  37. If I could somehow show the side face emoji I would. Its so crazy because till recently I thought those feelings were abnormal and I thought I was just not sociable enough. I do find that I like to keep to myself alot because I always think people don't like me for some reason. I'm pretty content with most aspects of my life so I know its not depression or anything. I guess there are just somethings we can't control in our lives. Thanks for posting this. I'm glad there are other people who feel this way as well.

    Maggie A
    Love Mavin

  38. Lots of sensible advise there and it can only be a good thing when someone like yourself speaks freely. As someone whom is like 100 or so I would say that for me getting older has given me much more confidence which enables me to feel happier in my skin and to enjoy my own company. I think its a tough world for the young today. Take care xx

  39. I watched this video Lily at a time I was feeling exactly this way...everything you said was so true and it's also nice to know you're not the only one who feels this way or can have a tendency to think in a negative way etc.We're all different and sometimes we see ourselves in a different light to what others see us in. Anyway bottom line, great video lovely.

    Elizabeth xo

  40. It is SO good to see someone talking about this. I feel so much like it too so often- particularly the disconnected from people around me thing, as I often seem to be the "odd one out". So much love to you Lily, I hope you start feeling better soon- and so in awe at how brave you were for going on camera to talk about this! xx

  41. I love how honest you were in this video/post. Its so admirable how down to earth you are.. how real you are! I totally understand what you mean by feeling alone. Thanks for this video :)


  42. You took the words right out of ny mouth, well said! That's basically the truth, we all go through that phase just at different points in life and maybe it seems your friends all around you are happy and bubbly but you are the only one lost and isolated; truth is, it's all a phase - just like a child trying to get out of it's mamas belly. Like you said, just stay positive and full of hope.

  43. Hi Lily,

    I don't actually follow your blog - I had signed out of Bloglovin' and when I came to sign in tonight this post was up as one of the popular posts on the log-in page. TIhe title struck a bit of a chord with me, as I had been feeling the lonesome blues over the past few months too, so I watched your very honest video. I'm so pleased I did - you put into words everything that I had been feeling lately, and really made me feel like I wasn't alone. As I said, I'd been a bit blue for a few months, but just in the past few weeks I noticed that I was beginning to feel like my old self again - happy! Nothing has really changed in my life, but gradually I just seemed to come out of my little funk. So I just wanted to say to you, and any other readers who are feeling lonesome - chin up! You're NOT alone, and it does, and will, pass eventually.
    I'm glad that I saw your post through that nice little bit of Bloglovin' serendipity! I'll be following from now on :o)
    Bette x

  44. I really admire your honesty. I too often feel lonely, but it's considered such a taboo to feel that way nowadays that it can be hard to cope with it, so it's reassuring to know that I'm (ironically) not alone in it!

  45. Great video, I can really relate, thanks for getting up there and posting it, means a lot

  46. I hadn't noticed you had a new video. Gone to check it out!

    xx, A!

  47. I really needed this at the moment, I have had such a vile down day of feeling really useless, I majorly wallow when I feel like this and tend not to leave the house. I broke this feeling today and left my pit of a room and went out into my studio.

    It was immediately better and this video just made me feel like It isn't just me going crazy in my own little world.

    Thanks, Lily :)

  48. Posting this was really brave on your part. I love that you did. You've sorta encouraged me to stop being such a lonely, sad bum. It'll take time but I'm gonna try to be happier.

    New Outfit Post: Personal Style Blog By ORR

  49. i just came across your blog after youtube linked me to one of your haul videos, and i'm so glad i did because i just moved to a new city and was feeling a bit homesick and lonely. so this came at the perfect time, i think the cosmic universe somehow led me to your video, thanks for sharing all your tips, i feel less lonely just knowing that i'm not the only one! :)

    rachel x

  50. I love how real you are Lily - I know exactly what you mean sometimes xx

  51. I have to say I LOVE that you've posted something so personal. I'm feeling a bit like this today and was looking for a blog post like this to help lift me a little, and I didn't think I'd find it on LLYMLRS! It's a refreshing change and it's nice to see a bit more of the girl behind the outfits etc :) I'm going to tweet you a video I watch when I'm feeling lonely, you might've already seen it, but it's always worth another watch.
    *virtual hug*

  52. really admire you for doing this lily! its always reassuring to hear that its totally normal to feel down sometimes. I think we live in a society that doesnt really accept thats its okay to not be happy all the time so its refreshing to see something like this.
    you are great!


  53. You have no idea how much this helped me realise that I am not the only one suffering from this. I often feel so alone, especially when I see my friends on Faecbook have so many people writing on their wall and telling them how amazing they are. It makes me so sad that no one does that on my wall. I've also enjoyed my own company more than being with others, but now I live at boarding school I feel that I more alone than ever. Everyone knows each other, and they have visitors all the time. But your post made me realise that though I feel alone, maybe I'm not actually. And maybe I need to try new things and try socializing with other people.

    Thank you so much for helping me, without even realizing!! xxx

  54. You are a beautiful, intelligent, hard working and honest young lady. Take care of yourself.

  55. Amazing video and blog, I hate the feeling of being alone in a crowded room and this has made me realise that maybe I'm not the only way feeling this way!
    Thank you x

  56. Ah you're so inspiring, it's very reassuring to see other bloggers who are so down to earth and are brave enough to put a video like this online. I honestly love your blog so much!

  57. You are so inspiring! After watching your video, I decided to start a new blog post to be less "lonely" and hopefully I could get your support as well (: Thanks for all the encouragements and please follow me if you can, I just posted my first post!

  58. I really enjoyed your video, it's hard sometimes when you're surrounded by people yet feel so isolated and alone. <3

    Katie xo

  59. Very inspiring. Thanks for sharing this :) xx

  60. Fab video and very much summing up how I'm feeling at the moment! Thank you for sharing your feelings, it's not an easy thing to do! xx

  61. I admire you so much for making this video Lily! It takes so much courage to talk so honestly about feelings of sadness/loneliness, especially to such a large audience. You've inspired a lot of people, including myself, so thank you. Sending you positive vibes xx

  62. This is a really lovely video, it's inspiring to see people who present as confident, popular etc are really like the rest of us; in world where everyone shares so much it's easy to presume everyone is having more fun/are more popular/more successful. I think everyone feels like this at times.


  63. This video was probably the most relatable one I've ever seen from you or any other YouTuber. I'm seriously blown away that you had the courage to put this up, so points for you on that. I completely, 100%, know how you feel. The good thing about being this way is that the relationships and friendships you do have mean something and they last. I would rather be reserved and to be honest, somewhat antisocial, if it means that I'm not surrounded by a whole lot of people who don't really care a whole lot about me. Thank you for being so open and honest and sharing this video - it's good to know I'm not alone.


  64. i couldn't even begin to explain how inspiration this post and the video are lily. i admire your courage of putting this vulnerable side to you on the internet for people to see. i, unfortunately, suffer from the same things as you can completely relate to the feelings of loneliness that you suffer. sometimes i feel that the feeling will never end and other times i just need a really god cry. i hate how many social networking sites i am a part of but how 'alone' i really feel. i honestly couldn't ask for better friends or family and i think sometimes i just need to open up to them. although sometimes, i just need to hit a really low and vulnerable point so that they come to me and make me realise that i'm really not alone. thanks again for being so open and honest by sharing this information with us and it's really great to know that there are others who feel the same and that there isn't something wrong with me! X

  65. Love you, your blog and your videos. You always keep it so real. I read soooo many blogs but there is only a handful whose words truly inspire me and I have a huge amount of respect for :) Thank you! X

  66. Love that you've put yourself out and you've really related to a lot of people. Just be strong and I'm always here if you need to talk :)

  67. You have literally just described exactly what I feel a lot of the time. It is so nice to know that I'm not the only one who feels like this sometimes as I have often thought that I was. Thank you so much for this post and video - it helped me so much xoxo

  68. Lily I really loved the video and I think you're so brave for doing that, I'd never sit in front of a camera and talk about this kind of things. You're really strong, love you xx

  69. oh weeeird, i'm writing my dissertation on the relationship between internet use and loneliness!

  70. Thank you for posting this video, I don't normally watch youtube videos but I watched this one. It's good to know I'm not alone in feeling lonely! xx

  71. Thank you so much for this video. It made me cry (not in a bad way!) you have just made me realise a lot of people feel this way which I never ever thought. From watching you and reading so many of these comments I have realised I'm not alone. I just want to thank you so much you have opened my eyes up. I have loved your blog for ages now but today I have really related to you on a personal level. I saw you're going to blog again on this video, and I just thought maybe you could add a tip in about trying to not focus on finding 'the one' for you. I have the most loving boyfriend ever, yet I still go through stages of feeling lonely and just er sad stages?! of my life. Nothing to do with my boyfriend, at first I thought he had 'cured' me?! I didn't feel lonely for a while but as time passed I started to get to feel like that again, I had depended too much on him. Now I am focussing on myself, trying to be happy with myself. I do take advantage for how great my boyfriend has been with me and he is slowly starting to understand (I am going to show him this video tomoro as i'm so bad at explaining) but I just thought maybe this is worth pointing out? I don't know if anyone else has felt like this but having a boyfriend, falling in love, or whatever just won't make you un-lonely or happy with yourself. Not to say he has been a great help and I am starting to feel less like this slowly, but this is down to me helping myself. Keeping busy, trying to think positive, exercising etc. everything you said in your tips I just didn't know if this was worth saying, probs not ha! Sorry I'll stop waffling on now! But seriously thank you so much! You are such a lovely, pretty girl with an amazing blog. xx

  72. Such a nice video :) It honestly made me so sad... but a good kind of sad, if that's even a thing. But you are incredibly courageous for making this, you should be proud. Thank you!

  73. This was so brave of you to put up, so many people feel they're not 'allowed' to feel lonely or sad when, from the outside, they appear to have a great life. The relief of hearing someone else say 'it's OK not to be OK right now; this isn't forever, you're doing fine & keep at it' is overwhelming. Thank you.

  74. Hi Lily, I only just now read this post, as directed to it by your post on December 31st about your less than stellar year. The way you describe how you feel in this post, it basically sounds as if i wrote it myself. Which is a huge comfort. Its much easier to feel less alone in a crowded room, if you feel like maybe, just maybe, someone else is feeling the exact same way, having the same disconnected and self-conscious thoughts. xx

  75. I can totally relate to where you are coming from and the fact I prefer to be alone more than socialising but I wouldn't say this was abnormal some people just prefer there own company and enjoy been alone for certain periods of time. I am also shy and always felt like the outsider but I guess that's where the internet comes in to connect with people alike that have different talents and interests. I hope 2014 will be a better year for you and maybe everybody can take a ounce of inspiration from this <3

  76. yes, i like
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  77. thankyou
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